Cat-a-Tonic™ Feline Deconfusifying Kit

OUR ANIMAL FRIENDS

Cat-a-Tonic™ Feline Deconfusifying Kit

Does your cat have difficulty telling your soup tureen from her cat box? Does she awaken in terror at 3 a.m., then hurl herself into the air only to land on your curtains before flinging herself down your stairs, over your sofa, then back upstairs and onto your head? Does she look at you as if she’s never seen you before when you come up behind her and say hello?

Your cat may be suffering from confusion. To clear her head and calm her soul, we recommend the Cat-a-Tonic™ Feline Deconfusifying Tincture. While Cat-a-Tonic offers a full range of tonics, tinctures and potions for all manner of feline ills, their Feline Deconfusifying Tincture is especially helpful for felines who can’t tell their tails from their elbows.

This soothing, clarifying tincture helps them to organize their thoughts, reflect on bad decisions, develop more reasonable plans of action and second-guess their middle-of-the-night urges to go rampaging through your home. Developed by skilled feline behavioral researchers and cat-loving chemists, this tincture incorporates soothing extracts of chamomile, cat grass and catnip in an alcohol and distilled spring-water base. It is then aged in zebrawood casks where its power is augmented by contact with powerful rose quartz crystals and cat’s eye stone for 42 days. During bottling it is surrounded by the energy of two certified reiki practitioners as it moves down a conveyor belt flooded with natural light. Finally, it is topped with a spray nozzle so that you can gently mist your cat, her food, her litter box and her favorite resting places at bedtime and during evening freakouts.

Also included is a jar of Cat’s Eye Balm made of powdered cat’s eye stone suspended in a pure beeswax base. We recommend applying a trace of this powerful balm to your cat’s third eye (in the middle of her forehead) three times a day to help her to focus her thoughts and see more clearly what the consequences of her actions will be before she acts. With regular daily use, we guarantee your cat will have improved focus, concentration and a calmer cattitude within four weeks or your money back.

Includes:

  • 4 oz. Bottle of Cat-a-Tonic Deconfusifying Tincture
  • ¼ oz. Jar of Cat’s Eye Balm

$28

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